Six-Pack Abs Illegal

In an unprecedented move, the President announced today the passing of a new federal law declaring six-pack abs illegal.

"If you already have six-pack abs naturally, you're safe from prosecution," one Senator explained. "However, anyone caught seeking six-pack abs in any way will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This type of behavior would include, but not be limited to, excessive crunches, sit-ups or other abdominal exercises, liposuction around the abdominal region or any conversations in which a party mentions a desire for so called 'flat abs.'"

When asked if this law infringes on the rights of U.S. Citizens the senator said, "It may look that way but we're doing America a favor." Patting his own rather large gut, he continued, "I'm sure I'm not the only one who's sick of looking at all these 'perfect' abs in magazines and on TV. That's just not normal and, frankly, I'd like nothing more than to see those people hauled off to jail. This law should finally end the stranglehold Hollywood has had on the American people and we can get back to the important things in life like being with our families and friends without shame for the state of our bellies."

Happy April Fool's Day!