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Paige Waehner

Getting Your Spouse to Exercise

By June 27, 2012

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If there's one thing I've learned about marriage, it's this: You're not in charge of what the other person does. I know...ridiculous, isn't it? After all, you're married to this person for the rest of your life...shouldn't he or she do what you want them to do?

This kind of thinking often causes problems, especially when it comes to exercise. It can be tough on a relationship when one person is active and the other person isn't. If you're the exerciser, you worry about the other person's weight along with their health, mortality and stress levels. If you're the non-exerciser, you may feel guilty all the time for not being as active as the other person.

Another thing I've learned about marriage is that you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do. However, there are ways you can nudge your partner in the right direction:

  • Be a good role model: Nagging your partner into exercise, as fun as that may be, usually backfires. Focusing on your own healthy behaviors may encourage your partner to do the same.
  • Use gentle encouragement: Plan after dinner walks and ask your spouse if he'd like to join you or invite her to the gym and offer to show her how things work. Just offering a strings-free invitation may be enough to get reluctant spouses moving.
  • Make it fun: Sometimes shouting, "Hey, let's go run 10 miles," just isn't going to work. However, something that's less like exercise - A bike ride, a tennis game, a walk in the park, may be more appealing. Make it about spending time together and having fun rather than about exercise.
  • Be honest: Rather than getting angry about your spouse's annoying habit of being his or her own person, try talking about what's really bothering you. Perhaps you're worried about their health or you want a better future. Maybe you simply want to understand why they're so against exercise - They may have reasons you're not even aware of, which could make you more sympathetic to their side of the story.

How do you encourage your partner to exercise? Or, if you're the non-exerciser, how do you feel about your situation? Do you wish you were more active or that your partner understood your situation? You can share your story here or leave a comment and tell us about it. Be sure to check out our reader stories as well for even more ideas for encouraging more exercise

Comments
June 13, 2008 at 9:54 pm
(1) Sallie says:

I have asked my husband numerous times to go to the gym with me, but he always declines, I just stopped asking.

June 14, 2008 at 11:58 am
(2) Stacy says:

I always get the “I’m an adult, you’re not my mother” whenever I’d suggest doing ANYTHING to get my husband to do anything beneficial for his health. Thankfully our 10 year old started playing football so now I just relate making the changes (family walks after dinner, getting away from processed foods, going low carb) as “beneficial for him. It’ll help him be in peak condition so he’ll play a lot better than he already does.”

June 14, 2008 at 6:53 pm
(3) Muhammad says:

I don’t see the problem. In my family, I simply speak, and it is done. My wife is not fat because she is only allowed to eat what I tell her to eat. If she were to get fat, that would bring shame on me, and she would have to fast many days.

June 14, 2008 at 11:47 pm
(4) Kathleen says:

we joined the gym together as a new years resolution. We work out together sometimes, sometimes alone, but we keep each other motivated. There have been times when each of us have been the one who didn’t want to go.

June 15, 2008 at 3:07 am
(5) mystery says:

hey i’d just like to say that i agree with number 3 comment by muhammad because women are lazy unless u motivate them and then when they start listening to you and doing the right thing they look and feel so much better there just to lazy to do it by themselfs thats why you have to motivate them

June 15, 2008 at 8:52 am
(6) jb says:

When my husband saw all of the great benefits I was getting from working out, he became interested in doing it himself. But he didn’t really like to exercise the way I do. We got some Dance Dance Revolution games, and that helped get him going. Since that time he started lifting weights, and although we only sometimes work out together, it is great to know I was able to motivate him by being a good example.

PS–Paige, are you able to edit out some of these comments? Hope so.

June 15, 2008 at 8:57 pm
(7) Maria T. says:

Muhammad and Mystery ,,,you are 2 idiots! Where do you come from? and that other one that says women are lazy??? are you kidding??? Man!!!!!!!!

June 16, 2008 at 2:35 pm
(8) Tricia G. says:

Maria T- you are hilarious!
Mystery- Learn how to use punctuation and capital letters when needed. Your writing skills prove your ignorance. It’s not like there aren’t any overweight, lazy men out there!

Muhammad- Seriously. Are you kidding?!

Exercise and health are very important to me. My husband has things that are important to him that I support and get involved with. He tries to do the same with me. He is not overweight but I want to make sure that he takes care of himself. Instead of the gym I set up family bike rides and hikes. We always have fun.

Bottom line, I would love him if he weighed 800 lbs.

June 16, 2008 at 4:26 pm
(9) fanny says:

Muhamed – Well when you enter the 21st century we’ll have a conversation.

Mystery – Since its my husband that is lazy and doesn’t exercise, while I exercise, work and take care of house and kid, I’m thinking you must be dating MEN!!

As for getting your spouse to workout, boy I wish, he goes in spurts and will go for walks then stops. He would never lift weights and is just not consistent with working out and for that matter eating healthy. I keep trying, but the Dr is telling him, so crossing my fingers that he gets it.

June 19, 2008 at 3:56 pm
(10) Miffed & Concerned wife says:

Cant believe I have come across this article just today when I am pretty miffed with my husband and not speaking to him right now.I have tried every trick in the book to make him get some exercise but he refuses to budge from his couch no matter what!Am so worried for his health…feel helpless but dont wanna give up trying.

June 19, 2008 at 4:56 pm
(11) cindy says:

buy your partner a gym membership for there birthday or as some type of gift. then they have to go.

June 20, 2008 at 2:41 pm
(12) Just Me says:

My husbend and I get a gym member ship 6 months agao and have gone for about one week. The biggest thing is that he and I want two differnt things from our work out. I want to louse weaght and he wants to gain. He wants to work out for 4+ hours, I feel 2 is enouph to get a good work out in. We have been working on time issues, and his weaght gainer. ($78.00 no joke) So I feel that once we have these issues under controll we will start going again and hopefully have fun while we are there.

Just a little thought to throw out there. It is not weather you are a man or women that makes you lazy but the person you are and what modivation factors there are in your life. Any one with negitve modivation is not going to do what you want, possitve motivation is goingt to help. It is like that white lie that you should never tell, well if your S.O is goingt to the gym because you want them to try to tell them how good they look even if you do not notice a change yet. It will help keep them going.

October 15, 2008 at 10:05 am
(13) April says:

How does possitive motivation get a fat man out of LazyBoy!
I have tried all of the above…non of them work. So…..I have to continue on my own path and let the lazy self sabbotage man continue on his lazy ” I can’t breathe, my knees hurt, I need to loose weight, smelly, “I am tired”,remote in hand sleeping mouth-open-snoring-no response-eyes glazed over-high~carb craving creature” ….the go the F&%$ing Dr.!….. because I have tried! I have tried being nice, I am a fitness instructor for goodness sakes!, tried to steer him to doctors, tried cooking light foods, tried to walk together….he is falling apart and he doesn’t care. He sits in front of the computer for HOURS! sits in front of the TV for HOURS! Depression? Tried to communicate that too. He is the master of his own reality. I am not responsible. I have started to go and do my own things. This can cause a split I am sure! I don’t want to have sex, I don’t want to make conversation, my patience is ready to crack!!!! Diet books, articles, ideas, scenerios, pamphlets, rolemodels, nothing works…..he LIKES to be lazy. Lived active all his life, and now he is cruising in a Lazy Boy. He has to do it on his own, I am letting go, he has control over his own life. Enough said.

December 11, 2008 at 5:07 pm
(14) Justadude says:

I see a lot of women commenting on this article and honestly, it doesn’t help. You can tell a dude he is fat, lazy and needs to workout. That won’t hurt is feelings at all and maybe just what he needs to jar himself out of laziness. You can’t, however, tell that to your wife. I love my wife and I have tried the tender talking (in which she agreed that she needs to workout for health benefits), we have tried working out together…even just walking together (in which case she whined the whole time. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too windy, we are walking too long…20 minutes!?!?!?!?!). She has purchased several different things to workout. And doesn’t use any of them. Her mother is very much over weight and experiences severe health problems because of it and yet my wife is following that same road. She claims lack of time and yet finds plenty of time to sit on the couch, watch a couple of hours (not exaggerating) of Foxnews, and eat junk food and yet she can’t find the time to take a 30 minute walk, use one of her many videos, or go to the FREE gym she has available to her with nice facilities including an area that will watch toddlers while she works out. So what should I do? I have to workout, as a military man it is a part of my job, and I enjoy it as well for all the health and physcological benefits. So really, what should I do?

March 19, 2009 at 8:34 pm
(15) Nester says:

My wife and I are oposites, She is the intelect & I am athletic. We use this all the time to get things done. Don’t try to change your spouse people. Use thier strengths. I help with movment, she helps with knowledge. I recomend a book that teaches you how to diet vs. an Eat like this diet. It is like teaching you to drive before seting you off down the road in a car. That makes sense!
Beck Diet for life.

June 14, 2010 at 11:46 am
(16) Bill says:

My wife changed to a very sedenary desk job about 11 years ago, when she was a very sexy 122 lbs. Now she sits at a computer all day, watches TV 4 hours every night, and gets little or no exercise. The result has been a 40 pound weight gain which has ended our sex life and put a severe damper on any romantic feelings that I had for her. I have kept myself active and physically fit and feel betrayed by the fact that my wife has simply let herself get so fat and unhealthy (she has developed several weight-related problems). I’ve tried all sorts of methods to help get her motivated to lose the weight but nothing has worked for more thana few weeks. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I need to do or say something soon or our marriage is in jeopardy. Any suggestions?

August 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm
(17) John Easton says:

I played to my wife’s motivation. She enjoys evenings out and at times purchasing new clothes; so I challenge her by suggesting two months from the present date we commit to a date night.

Prior to the date we will each purchase a new outfit. For her the outfit is one size or so smaller than her current size. The fun challenge motivated her long enough to get into an exercise rhythm that lasted beyond the date.

I too stepped up my workout because I wanted to look as good as possible for her (and me).

John

November 23, 2010 at 4:41 pm
(18) footballgal says:

I have always been active and have tried everything to get my husband to exercise. He promised me before we got married that he would continue working out (a deal breaker for me)and hasn’t kept his promise. I am not physically attracted to him and the only motivation I have to have sex with him is to keep him from getting mad. I am jealous of women I see at the gym who have spouses who work out with them. I’m tired of putting the time and effort into keeping myself fit when my husband won’t.

March 15, 2011 at 3:56 pm
(19) daisygirl says:

I’m better if I plan ahead on good healthy meals and don’t wait til I’m so ravenous and just grab what is around while figuring out what to eat for my meal. Also, when tempted by all the snacky stuff that’s around, just tell yourself that you’ll treat yourself with only your most favorite thing. That way you aren’t denying yourself but also not just stuffing stuff into your mouth cuz it’s there. Just make sure you have that favorite thing, but NOT in large amounts. For me it’s homemade ice cream that I have small portions of in my freezer.

May 18, 2011 at 8:49 am
(20) sheila says:

my husband won’t go to the gym unless i go with him, but i hate going! i really prefer working out at home because it’s more convenient. i guess i have to figure out which is more important – doing things MY way or helping him.

November 13, 2011 at 10:31 pm
(21) Fudge says:

For the past 26 years, I didn’t know what the word Physically Fit means. And when 2010 hit, I started going to the gym like crazy! Attending bodypump and spinning classes as well as Yoga! What fired me up?

1) Watch the biggest loser. A few episodes should do the trick. Watch it together and praise the biggest losers as almost heroic like.

2) A good insult. Yes, preferably from an enemy. Something like ‘OMG, What happened???!!!’ 20lbs later will be ‘Oh, which gym did you go?

3) Get a few used Men / Women’s health fitness magazine and place it everywhere. Beneath the remote controller, on the couch, fridge, bathroom mirror etc.

4) Get a medical check. heartbeat, blood pressure etc. Especially those that can calculate your body age. A lady who is 26 with the body age of 55 will sure fire her up.

5) For men, don’t ask them to do something. E.g Im going to the gym honey, you just sit there and watch tv. No need to sweet it out!

Good luck ;-)

June 24, 2012 at 3:23 am
(22) Mustangdude281 says:

footballgal, I feel your pain. My wife and I both worked out together 3-4 times per week when we first met 20 years ago. We were that particular gyms “fit couple.” After my daughter was born 11.5 years ago, she found every, and I do mean EVERY excuse in the book NOT to work out. She is content to sit on the couch nightly and watch countless hours of TV, and when I suggest a walk or a workout, I get to hear how hard her day was and how tired she is…too tired to work out. Now she’s overweight by (in my estimation) 40-60 lbs., and in addition, I am so turned off by how she looks, we haven’t had sex since my daughter’s conception. It seems to me that because I haven’t left her in disgust, that she’s completely content looking the way she does. After this long, she shows absolutely no sign of changing her ways, after all, where am I going? I am truly miserable, yet I stay. I know it’s my fault for not leaving already, but I guess I believe that things will eventually work out. My point is…I know a little about deal breakers, and this is a big one. Once again, I do feel your pain, and I hope that things get better for you.

June 28, 2012 at 5:31 am
(23) Fitness fan says:

Obesity or being overweight is a combination of eating too much coupled with a sedentary life-style. The obvious solution is to eat more sensibly and engage in regular exercise; much simpler said than done.

If a person has an eating disorder, the root cause needs to be identified to solve the underlying problem, rather than only fixing the symptom (eating less and exercising only address the symptom). Seeking comfort in food due to stress at work or at home or both wonít be solved by trying to eat less and exercise, simply because the stress still needs a viable outlet (btw, regular exercise can help reduce stress and anxiety to a certain extent). Dealing with the stress in a positive way will serve as the enabler for successful weight management through diet and exercise, if the root cause is stress.

Another possibility is over-eating to compensate for low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy. Successfully addressing the low self-esteem or feelings of inadequacy will take care of having to use food to dull the pain.

If a marriage or relationship is to survive adversity and is worth keeping, it will take tremendous commitment and working together to get there; withholding sex will simply end the marriage; thatís a no-brainer. Paigeís hints provide positive steps for nudging your mate in the right direction.

June 30, 2012 at 2:11 pm
(24) Steve says:

My wife made a really big deal before we got married about having a ‘no fat clause’ as part of our marriage. Ha, wish I had that one on video. Fast forward a decade and a half. I weigh less than I did back then. Her, well, that’s a different story. I guess she only meant for that clause to apply to me. It’s okay, she also said that she likes sex and I’d never have to worry about that, either.

July 9, 2012 at 7:04 pm
(25) b says:

Some people just don’t have the dedication, and never will. Doesn’t matter what you say or do. Simple as that. Like the unmotivated person I’m about to marry..

July 24, 2012 at 1:56 pm
(26) Dane says:

It’s a tough thing because you don’t want to be insulting or rude. You can drop hints or talk about it, framing it in a positive way but the bottom line is that if someone doesn’t want to change, you can’t make them.

The hard part is that you still love them but lose the physical attraction. I’m on the brink of that with my wife and we’ve been together for over 20 years. I guess at some point you have to decide how important it is to you and make a plan from there.

Maybe we all need to be totally frank and honest and say, “here’s how I see things, this is how I feel, if this doesn’t change, I need to evaluate a new course of action. I’m telling you this because I love you and would like to stay together with you but I can’t if you don’t meet me half way.”

This is a very common situation. Maybe we should all swap spouses so that they can be with “like” people?

August 9, 2012 at 7:50 pm
(27) shadowhawk says:

I am glad that I found this thread. After having our children 11 years ago my wife didn’t gain 60 lbs she gained 120lbs. Her Dr. Has told me that she needs to do something about her eating and sedentary life style. The Dr. Is worried about her. And so am I. I have always been fairly fit. The last year I have just started eating less and cycling and I have dripped 60 lbs not sure from where. I have made a lot of cycling friends and I have never felt better I only wish the same for my wife. I don t know how I would manage my life and stress with out exercise. What a great stress releaver. I like how other people treat me now. Again iwish my wife would see the benefits I think depression would subside with exercise and better self esteem. My counsler says I should draw the line… but hate the thought of possibly shaking up my kids if my wife still refused to help her self. I love her so much and so much want her to be around. So we can grow old together. I am at the end of my rope.

September 3, 2012 at 8:09 am
(28) FocusOnSuccess says:

I think at the root of the problem where one person stays fit and attractive, and the other slips into sloth behavior, has to do with basic personality differences. The unfit, unfocused spouse just does not place the same values on appearance and fitness.

September 9, 2012 at 7:16 pm
(29) AtlantaBob says:

WOMEN, listen. This might be the best advise you will come across in maintaining a happy marriage. One of the main things a man (who is still young enough to have sexual vigor and energy) want is to have an attractive spouse. TRUST ME, you will have a much happier relationship if you are actively maintaining your appearance, and with the cosmetics and minor medical treatments available today, really no reason all women should not look similar to their youthful selves.

Do some research on the Internet, the HAPPIEST marriages are where the wife is slightly more attractive than the husband. The husband will shower you with attention and overtly display his attraction to you.

Let yourself go, and your mans heart will eventually go too. Sorry, just how we males tick, we are visually driven.

Good luck, cheers!

September 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm
(30) John P. says:

Hate to say it… but Alantabob is right about 80% of men under 50. Not all but enough. And lets be honest its not a which sex has this issue more…both suffer. Its just a life style choice , brought about by 2 working parents and the abundance of fast food and tons distractions to keep people from noticing how miserable they really are. Those of us who are active and happy, had better upbringing with more encouragement to live a active and healthy life. If your spouse wont meet you half way, and it bothers you that much why did you marry them in the first place?
Either deal with YOUR choices or make new ones… and stop crying about your life path on the internet.

September 12, 2012 at 10:27 am
(31) Steph R. says:

My boyfriend and I stay fit by going for walks in the park and he rides his bike to and from work while I go to the gym 3 times a week, but what happens in the winter? Neither of us like going out in the snow and I’m afraid he’ll gain back all those extra pounds again. What can I do to help him stay fit during those long winter months?

September 13, 2012 at 9:36 pm
(32) joe says:

Steph R. Try some tantric sex, short of that doing into exercises, get a fitness video, spin bike..tread mill.. find some flight of stairs to walk up and down.. WATCH YOU CALORIE INTAKE! There are lots of things you can both do. You could also try to stop being so vain, and worrying about how you both look…if its a fitness thing then do the above if not forget about it and live your life.

September 15, 2012 at 1:44 pm
(33) Oddler says:

i had this issue with my girlfriend. i would try to invite her to the gym, but she would never go. i would even say its away to spend time together, she didnt by that. i stopped asking or trying. everytime she would start to complain about her weight or her close not fitting, i would tell her i dont want to hear it because you arent doing anything about it but crying. after this happened about 3 times in a month she put on her big girl panties and assumed responsibility for her weight, and started exercising. she had 6months of on/off exercising going for 3week, stopping for 3weeks, and then 6months of solid exercising, for the most part she either did p90x or insanity, and tried to hit the gym with me at least once a week. after all this, she got pregnant, so she had to stop (i tried to get her to do yoga but she wont) so her exercising is off till march 2013 (a month after the baby is due)

October 25, 2012 at 12:45 am
(34) Jenkins says:

I agree with most of you guys (except for the unusual offensive man…i won’t mention any names)
I too have tried everything to get my husband to come with me to the gym, but he is so inconsistent. We have been married for 2 years and he has put on about 60 pounds. I am really worried about his health. We will soon be trying to have kids, but the doctor suggested that he become more active. Hopefully that will motivate him enough. His problem is, he loves food (who doesn’t right?). Rather than pushing him and nagging at him to come with me for a walk or a run, i have found that on that occasion where he does come with me i will praise him, so he knows that i really mean no harm. Hopefully all you girls found a way to help your spouses in one way or another! GOOD LUCK!

December 9, 2012 at 12:09 pm
(35) Kellogg's says:

Well, your advise backfired on me!! I suggested that my spouse join me for a walk, which prompted the question why I all the sudden had an interest in the both of us getting some excercise (I am active). When I said that i thought it would be nice, and would help to get you going. The reply was, “can’t you just love me for who I am”.

We just operate from different manuals, appearance is important to me and it kills me that there is a growing gap between the two of us….we all age, but let’s at least try and age gracefully, right?!

December 30, 2012 at 12:13 am
(36) Aaron says:

I’ve done everything I can think of to encourage my wife to exercise for the last 10 years: offering to coach, trying to make it fun, buying various workout equipment and gym memberships, etc. I’ve been rejected for the last 10 years. I’ve finally accepted that she’s decided to be sedentary and there’s nothing I can do about that. The only thing I can do is try to keep up with my own fitness goals and stay in the best shape I can. Marriage means you sometimes have to accept things you don’t want to. In my case it means I just have to accept my wife is not going to try to stay in shape. I can’t control what she does. I can only control what I do.

January 21, 2013 at 6:42 pm
(37) motivate my hubby says:

I need to help my hubby get motivated. he lost his motivation 2 years ago when his mum died, since then he dont want to do anything but sit playing games on the PC.
i am not very active myself due to health problems but am finding im having to push myself through the pain just to get the kids to school, clean the house, walk the dog (puppy & pulls) & cook dinners but also find the time for myself to relax from the pain.
its go good going to the gym as he is that big it would kill him so he kept his swimming pass which we have been paying for, for the last 2 years at £20 a month.

i just dont know what to do :(

March 4, 2013 at 11:26 pm
(38) Thiagan says:

Mohammed you monster? Stop joking. Many seem to believe you.

May 4, 2013 at 5:28 am
(39) T says:

I feel so bad for some of your spouses. What helped me get motivated was my health and my sister inlaw. I have some major health issues so I am over weight because of my health issues. If it wasn’t for my husband I would have never of made it. I have been running for the last 2 years. I love doing things with my family so we plan things like hiking the Grand Canyon as a family, I do runs with my sister inlaw and my husband and kid are always at the finish line. I’m so greatful that my husband didn’t give up on me just because I was over weight. I still am over weight but we still love each other and have plenty of sex.

June 21, 2013 at 10:15 pm
(40) Chris says:

I have to agree with the others. I’ve tried to get my wife motivated to work out. She even started several times, and started looking firmer and everything (think she might have lost 5-10 lbs each time). Only to get out of exercising and gaining the weight back.
Depression is in the picture, and unfortunately she can’t get past that either. It’s been several years with it, and she even tried a psychologist and medication. The medication made her feel worse, and the psychologist simply stated some of the exact same things that I have (even though a dear friend suggested the psychologist whom I had never even seen/met).
I never thought guys were more visually oriented in that way (I never felt that way myself), until it happened to us. It is far from a deal breaker because she still is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and she takes great care of me and the kids. And I married for better or for worse … if this as as bad as it gets, then I am willing to live with it forever.
I too try to take care of her by buying nice updated pajamas (younger kids in the picture), and even some slightly sexy underwear and bras. She loves what I picked out over the past several years and wears them all the time saying how nice they feel and look. But sadly she still can’t see that she needs to set aside that 45 mins or 1 hour for herself to make herself feel sexier than she has and to just feel better overall about herself.

On my side of the fence, I can almost literally eat slightly less and exercise 1 or 2 times and be back to a very healthy weight and feeling healthier. That is also one of the problems which is why I don’t exercise with her.

August 8, 2013 at 10:46 am
(41) Anonymous says:

My spouse was not “fit” per say when we married but he was very thin. 5’9 and about 160 pounds( if that). He was a fireman and I made it clear fitness was I pt to me and he always said he worked out at work with his friends. Only they got super buff and he didn’t. In 5 years I had had 2 children and I weighed about 7 pounds more than I did when I was 20 and still I was in a size 4. He was about 190 by then with no better fitness. When he leaned over his belly hung over and he had huge “love” handles at that point. Still, I worked out as always and he never did. It is now 21 years since we married. I still where a size 4 to six. I am peri menopausal and I work out regularly even though I have been preliminarily diagnosed with ra, oa, and possible fibromyalgia. He has been told by doctors for the last 14 years that he was overweight, had severely high cholesterol, high blood pressure and a fatty liver and was told he must lose weight and get fit…he now weighs 210( possibly more) is on BP meds, cholesterol meds, and has pitting edema much of the time. I am always the bad guy for even mentioning changing diet and weight. And I am also the bad guy bc I don’t like to touch him while having sex bc I have so much anger that he was this gorgeous man who knew appearance was impt to me from the get go and he let himself go from the very beginning and I am mad at myself for always telling myself that he will do something about it. He can’t get life insurance and he seems to ignore that we will be screwed if something happens to him. But again I am the bad guy for expecting something different.what am supposed to do. I am 45 and peri menopausal and I am angry at him all the time but I want us to stay together and enjoy each other but I feel so frustrated.

September 23, 2013 at 7:23 pm
(42) cc says:

i have been married for 4 years and after my husband was honorable discharged from the marine corp. he just stopped caring. after we got married he gained 40lbs. but that didn’t really bother me too much i like bigger men but now that he is out of the military he is up 80lbs from when we first met. i have tried everything and he could care less. i work out daily and weigh the same as when we first met even after having our child. i love sex and i look good but he just isn’t interested in having it. i have no idea what to do. i dont really care what he looks like but he has had health problems related to his weight and he no longer shows any interest in sex. i am at a loss here. fyi i weigh 120lbs and he is right around 250.

January 7, 2014 at 9:04 am
(43) diane says:

its hard when my husband works so many hours. I love the gym, but I have way more time.

Sometimes the best thing a wife can do for her man is cook healthy food. lots of work but works better than the gym for losing weight.

make his breakfast 400 calories
lunch 400 calories and dinner 400 calories

one time after a grilled chicken and veg dinner he didn’t say a work and went straight and ordered a pizza! I love him sooooo much he makes me laugh

March 17, 2014 at 8:41 pm
(44) lady go says:

It took a shirt my husband wanted that only went up to an XL to get him in the gym. I would exercise 4-5 times a week 1.5 hours a day. My husband now exercises 7 days a week 3 hours a day. He has this addictive personality and doesn’t know when to stop. So what should I complain about???

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