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Readers Respond: Who sabotages your attempts to lose weight?

Responses: 22


Updated March 20, 2009

From the article: Weight Loss Sabotage
If you've ever had to deal with someone who constantly undermines your attempts to lose weight, you know how frustrating that can be. It can be a spouse, a friend, a situation or even yourself. How do you experience weight loss sabotage in your life? Share your stories and how you deal with it.

Family sabotage

My husband is who sabotages me, i don't think he intends to do it, but he does. If i say I am having a salad for dinner, he will make something else for dinner. If i go for a walk he fights with me and refuses to walk with me. I wish he would support me.

Husband sabotage

My husband says he wants me to lose weight but constantly suggests that we get take out for dinner after exercising and eating well all day he wants to eat crap at night! Of course after looking after 3 kids all day I would want to not cook and eat badly but when I tell him I am eating healthy I get made to feel guilty. I fall off the wagon at his every suggestion and it is showing on the scales. My will power is very weak and wish I could stand up for myself in these situations!!! Why am I so weak?
—Guest Feelno support

Husband unintentional sabotage

In to past every time I tried to diet my husband would bring home my favorite donuts I would crumble every time. I would try to diet in secret but as soon as he noticed a change, he would start in. But this last diet I tried, "low carb," I never told anyone. A month an a half has passed and this week he brought donuts, but it has been long enough the I do not crave them and am NOT even tempted. But I have to keep on the look out for his next shot at messing me up.
—Guest k leonard

wife threatened divorce!

I lost about 40 pounds 2.5 years ago through eating right and exercise. I had 3 more pounds to go to reach my goal when my wife said she would leave me if I did. With 3 kids, 2 still at home, I was reluctant to see how serious she really was. I've struggled with that ever since. i've quit exercising on a regular basis, and have gained much of it back. Is that a weinie, or is that folding my cards to prevent further loss?
—Guest dennis

Do what is good for you

It's really hard to read these stories and tell mine. My husband loves me big but said if I wanted to lose weight, I could. I do the cooking so I buy the food so I buy what is healthy I have lost 40lbs. I go to the gym when I can and if I can't go to the gym, I buy cheap tapes and work out at home sometimes. My health is what is important. I don't tell my husband when people give me compliments, but I do ask him his opinion of my clothes. It's hard when my kids want snack foods. I get it for them and I eat almonds and 100% whole grain popcorn, which is better than chips. I drink skim milk and eat whole grain breads. I have to think of me. I try to include them in my changes but I don't make them change if they don't want to. It's about being healthy so I can be around them longer in life. Don't get me wrong I do sometimes slip up and eat cake and fast food but I don't stay in it and at night flavored water and almonds keep me on the straight and narrow.
—Guest silk

Sabotage weight loss

The last 3-4 years, I wanted to reduce the extra tire from my body and could not start it. Every day I wanted to start walking and exercising. Whenever I used to wear clothes before going to office, my wife used to say please reduce your weight, otherwise you are not looking smart. You're buying costly clothes, but it's all a waste of money. Then once fine day, I was in front of the mirror and said to myself: Mr Binod pull up your socks and reduce your weight. I started from February 1 and I am now under full control of my diet. I divorced fried items, sweets, rice and potatoes. I started walking and my spare tire is 30% less than what it was on 1st of Feb. So until you are determined, nothing is going to help you.
—Guest Binod Agarwal

Debbie and Laurie

Debbie, maybe your husband just liked you the way you are. Of course there's no excuse to ill-treat you but seems to me that you really have communication issues. After all he likes you enough to not divorce you, which is what I would do if my woman became a size 6 (she's a 16 and that's the way I like it). Laurie: as the person who usually cooks at my home I totally understand your husband. I mean, it is offensive if you take the time and effort to prepare something and then your family take small bites or go make something else. But you deserve healthy food. What you should do is learn and teach him how to make healthy delicious food, cause let's face it, greasy fried food tastes awful. You'll eat even more than now, so he's happy, but it's gonna be healthy food so you're happy. We were really successful with that here, we eat right and exercise 5x a week, and we're both much healthier, although we lost no weight but that's because we're "big is beautiful" people.
—Guest Robert Seadon

my husband, kids

My husband loves to cook. He makes my plate as if he's eating it. Then I have teenagers that like to eat junk food when their friends come over. Not to mention I have 2 toddlers. I love working out, but have a hard time finding the time to do it. I try to go during lunch, and I sometimes can squeeze 2 days a week for 40 minutes. That's not enough, though, if you are trying to lose weight. I really miss working out regularly.
—Guest jay

I'm the enabler

Looks like hell is other people. In my house, I'm the cook, the one who makes fatty, sugary, salty, carby meals, and who is overweight. I'm a foody, I can't stand to limit portions, exercise hasn't helped much in the past. I'm doomed!

No Support, No Diet

It's very hard to be in diet in a Mexican house. Family here cooks everyday, even tho i can be in a strict diet for a couple of weeks eventually I'm going to fall for those enchiladas, fajitas, tacos all that good stuff. Point is, is very hard to be in a diet with no support.
—Guest Freddy

My ego

I've concluded that overweight is a consequence of my poor choices. Not food. Poor choices that were made due to my limited (unrealistic) perception of many situations I was going through. At some point in my life, someone convinced me that eating was a great way to celebrate, to relax, or to prepare for a big challenge. This is why I've carried most of my celebrations around my waist for 15 yrs. I went to a support group where I came to believe that eating is how I stay alive and how I nurture myself. I had to convince myself that I should not eat to celebrate...period. Once I felt truly convinced about this, I have no issue sharing this with my fellow workers. Second, as I started losing weight, envious friends respected that. If needed, I may go to gatherings and socialize, drink a diet drink, but hold the eating for a specific moment (lunch/dinner time), then I eat and move on ! I don't want to feel like a victim...so I stop blaming others for my decisions.
—Guest erick

Saboge- Weight Loss

Staying awake almost the whole night is what destroys all my efforts to lose weight. I resist cravings to eat for a while then raid the kitchen and end up overeating - mostly unhealthy stuff. Can stay without eating the whole day but to resist at night is almost impossible.

Sabotaged by selfish people

Those of you who have despising , jealous etc relative etc---My guess is that they are like this not only in regards to your new found looks/health but in other aspects of your relationship. They need to be confronted with their self-centeredness and realize you are not against them but for health etc. Giving into them will not help them or you. Get support from a friend or helpful relatives and confront the real issues they have...
—Guest CallyCamp

All About Me

I sabotage myself. I have very spotty self-control. After eating healthy all day, I fall apart at night. When I lose 5 pounds, I celebrate by having a "little" treat. I hate exercise. I love food. I love baking. It's all about me.
—Guest tropicgran


I am a single mom with three boys. It is hard to come home after work and cook a meal that will fill them up and then find something else for me. It is easier to just eat what they are eating. It is also hard to keep healthy food in the house, actually any food in the house, because the eat 24/7. So the other problem is I spend alot of time in the grocery store which is hard too because I go after work when I am getting hungry and buy things I shouldn't then end up eating them after supper because they are there.
—Guest KATIE

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